Valentine’s Day is right around the corner! What a beautiful day to celebrate love and romance. It’s a happy day for many, except it also is the suckiest day of the year for a lot of people. Myself included. 

See, I just got dumped. Two weeks before February 14th, the boy I thought I was going to spend it with shattered my heart on the car ride home. It was devastating and out of nowhere, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. The next step is to heal or whatever, which admittedly would be a lot easier if I wasn’t constantly being bombarded by love hearts, flowers, and sweet candies every time I walk into Target. What sucks the most is that Valentine’s Day has always been one of my favorite days of the year. I love love. And honestly, I would rather run over hot coals barefoot than let a boy ruin that for me. 

So instead of being bitter on the 14th, I’ve decided to look for other people going through the same thing as I am. Lucky for me, it’s ironically breakup season as well, so finding people wasn’t that hard. I talked to each of them about how they’re going to deal with Valentine’s Day being all up in their face when they’re not in the mood for love — and hey, maybe by the end of this, you’ll find a little love somewhere in the red and pink aisles of Target too! 

Part One: “What Do You Crave More Of?” / We’re Not Really Strangers Gone Wrong 

The first breakup we’ll be talking about is one that broke not only my friend’s heart but mine as well. After a solid nine months of dating, this couple mutually decided to part ways during a friendly game of We’re Not Really Strangers. It was a truly devastating conclusion to a relationship full of love and self-sacrifice, and it was also one that happened at the most inconvenient time. Not only did it happen the day after my breakup and exactly two weeks before Valentine’s Day, but both of their birthdays are this month. What a fun, exciting February for them!

Pisces men have the worst timing with things, and for my little Aquarius friend, this means that the Valentine’s and birthday gifts she had been preparing now have no giftee. She had been looking forward to gifting him a 3D-printed penguin she’d been working on. See, penguins were their thing. They had gone to the aquarium a few months ago to see an exhibit with new baby penguins and “adopted” it as their child. The 3D-printed penguin was a heartfelt idea.

Too bad there’s really no point in finishing it. Now, what she’s looking forward to on Valentine’s Day is a date with her gynecologist for a pap smear exam. (Best of luck!) So obviously, she won’t technically be lonely on Valentine’s Day. 

“It’s still a school day, and my doctor’s gonna keep me company!” she said. “I’m just trying to focus on being happy with my friends and doing activities I like. So I won’t just be crying in my room!”

(The chances of me receiving a phone call the night of February 14th from her to tell me she’s crying in her room are high, but I admire her optimism.)

What will she be listening to as she cries in her room? “Darker Than Death” by Indigo De Souza. She added that she was supposed to see Indigo in concert over the summer but wasn’t able to; I on the other hand did go see her in concert, and they played this song! (Fun fact: it is even more painful to hear live than through your headphones.)

She resonates with the heartache in the song, stating that “it’ll make for a very merry crying day.”

To wrap up our conversation with her on what to do when your relationship ends before Valentine’s Day, she says to “still do the things that you were gonna do, but just do them for yourself or do them for a friend!” Treat yourself to a fancy dinner. Go see that movie with your roommates. It’s not a crime to still give yourself a nice night. 

(Do you think this means she’ll give me the penguin?) 

Part Two: “I Don’t Want Anything Serious” / Diana’s Doomsday  

This next example of a ruined relationship on the cusp of Valentine’s Day is a situationship. A dear coworker of mine recently found herself in this unfortunate mess with a white boy with a buzzed bleached haircut who’s in a band. (I mean, come on, how many red flags is that already?) After months of a will-they-won’t-they, back and forth type of crush, Diana finally sealed the deal — or so she thought. Things had been going perfectly well between them until suddenly:

“I’m just not in a place for anything serious right now.”

Wow! What an odd way of saying you don’t want the commitment of a relationship, but are too lonely and insecure to not be in one. A truly pathetic excuse, yet devastating to hear, especially for Diana, who told me she finds a lot of joy in Valentine’s Day! 

“I think it’s cute!” she said. “I don’t wanna be that bitter person who hates it because of relationships. I think you could celebrate it without being in a relationship.”

Agreed. She’s gonna have to hold onto that with what’s happening with her situationship. She told me that she felt unsure about what Valentine’s Day was going to end up being like with her and her not boyfriend who acts like her boyfriend. Since they had only been seeing each other for two months, she didn’t know if what they were going to do would be casual or not. He hadn’t mentioned anything about it. She felt stuck on what to do.

Now that things “aren’t serious” though, all she’s expecting now is for him to go the whole day without bringing up the fact that it’s Valentine’s Day. Lucky for her though, she’s been mentally preparing for the fact that she won’t be receiving anything. Instead, she’s choosing to focus on the fact that while she might not have a serious boyfriend to spend it with, she’s looking forward to spending time with the people who do love her — like her friends, her roommates, and her incredible coworker who interviewed her for this article. 

In the meantime, she’s listening to “doomsday” by Lizzy McAlpine. “It’s a little relatable,” she said with a shy smile. I gave it a listen, and jeez did the lyrics of the bridge get to me. 

Lastly, a piece of advice from Diana to anyone who might be in the same unfortunate situation and stuck with a person who’s too emotionally unavailable to commit, but won’t end things directly: “Be better than me, and leave.” 

Well said, Diana. Now if she could just take her own advice, that’d be super awesome!

Part Three: “I Don’t Think This Is Gonna Work Out” / How’s My Heartbreaker Doing Now?

Let’s switch gears a little bit. This next relationship we’re going to talk about is my own. How fun! 

A little background information: we dated for four months. He’s a fourth year, and I’m a second year, so maybe it was doomed from the start. He’s a lame aerospace engineering major who unfortunately made my days brighter. Emphasis on the past tense. I definitely gave much more than I got from him. It was also widely known that I am significantly funnier. You know, I actually tried to convince him to let me interview him for this article, so now not only has he rejected my love but also my hilarity! When I asked, he said, “Uhm idk. I’m also very busy this entire week.” Ha! Like he has a life to be busy with now that I’m not in it. Then he said “Sorry,” as if he was actually sorry for anything he’s done to me. Whatever, he probably thinks Valentine’s Day is a capitalistic scam anyway. Either that or he really is just lamer than I thought (which he must be if he’s stupid enough to reject love from beautiful girls like me). 

Anyway, I’m sure he’s going to be absolutely fine spending Valentine’s Day all alone even though he could have had a fantastic one with me. He’s probably glad he doesn’t have to spend the money on me. I’d say he’ll put on some good music and maybe a decently entertaining movie, but he happens to have horrible taste in both, so realistically, he’s just sitting on his couch, doing homework, feeling lonely, waiting for this article to be published, and definitely whining about how much he misses my humor, comfort, and company.

(Sucks for him!) 

As for myself, I’ll admit that I was really looking forward to spending a Valentine’s Day with someone I loved for the first time ever. I was hoping he’d get me flowers and take me out to dinner, so I could wear the pretty red dress I bought. But now that I don’t have a boyfriend, what am I going to do? What’s there to look forward to? 

Actually, there’s a lot to be optimistic about. The color pink. Eating lots of candy. Watching my favorite rom-coms that he never wanted to watch with me. Baking cookies for my roommates. Buying elementary school Valentine’s for my coworkers. Doing my makeup. Feeling pretty. Sending everyone I love a letter in the mail. Listening to Taylor Swift. Reminding myself that no matter what, I am full of abundance and love. No boy can ever take that away from me.

So how have I been coping with the fact that I’m going to be alone on Valentine’s Day? By doing what I do best and putting my feelings into writing like this. By listening to sad music, with my go-to’s being “Guitar Romantic Search Adventure” by Wallows and “The Story of Us” by Taylor Swift. I’ll rewatch Ten Things I Hate About You and daydream about the day my own Cameron learns French for me. I know I won’t really be alone, because just like they said, there are people who love me more than my ex-boyfriend ever could. Myself included.

Advice that I have for anyone in my position? There are infinite types of love out there in the world to fill up your heart; don’t let a breakup keep you from experiencing all of that, even if it did happen right before Valentine’s Day. Remember, you’re not alone! So go to Target. Buy some chocolate! Love what you have, and what’s in store for you.

(No pun intended.) 

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash