In a horrifying medley of creatures with human faces and proportions covered in CGI fur, “Cats” delves into a whirlwind fantasy that would have been better left untold. 

Cats, dance, and film are three of my favorite things. “Cats,” however, despite being the amalgamation of them all, somehow managed to make me want to claw my eyes out less than 10 minutes into viewing the human/cat hybrid nightmare. Tom Hooper’s 2019 adaptation of this musical completely failed to adapt the theater production into a comprehensive story onto the big screen. The film not only did not translate the same on screen as it does on stage, but it also felt genuinely uncomfortable to watch. The blatant sexualization of the cats left you with an uneasy feeling throughout the entire film that never quite left. As Bombalurina (Taylor Swift) shimmied her furry chest alongside other female cat dancers to an audience of cowering felines with curves, the audience is left with an unpleasant pit in their stomachs as they scratch their heads, wondering who exactly this film’s focal audience was supposed to be. It is not clear whether it was intended to appeal to children, theater lovers, or furries, as it seems to have been produced for all three vastly different groups while simultaneously missing the mark to be appealing to any normal person.  

Despite all of this criticism, “Cats,” ultimately has some redeeming qualities that had the potential to set this film apart as an impressive display of musical talent were it not for everything else that went appallingly wrong. It cannot be denied that the choreography was exceptional, and the amount of talented dancers in the film did not go unnoticed. The decision to cast actual professional dancers for a Hollywood film in an industry where big names are valued more than talent was appreciated and might I say, even celebrated, within the dance community. The casting of Francesca Hayward, a principal dancer in the Royal Ballet, as the lead character (Victoria) despite it being her first feature film, conveyed a certain level of respect for the art of dance in cinema. That is not to say that there are no famous faces in the film, and this is where the praise ends.

Taylor Swift, James Corden, Jason Derulo, and Rebel Wilson are among other big stars with a noticeable role in the movie. It is obvious that a considerable amount of time, effort, and money went into this film in order to obtain a finished product with accomplished performers and a star-studded cast, which is what makes “Cats” so much more unfortunate. The CGI, which no doubt cost millions of dollars and required hours of grueling labor to assemble only served to distract from the few virtues present within the production. The exceptional dancing, powerhouse vocals, and beautiful musical composition found itself buried beneath cats with human faces and manicured hands. 

“Cats” is so shockingly terrible that, like a car crash or a terrible accident, you cannot bring yourself to peel your eyes away from the screen, even as you feel your face physically cringing as cockroaches and mice with children’s faces tap dance on a disproportionate table, slave to a tabby Rebel Wilson. What movie is better able to sum up our current age? We have progressed to a point in scientific advancement where our technology can be used to make human/cat hybrids, but no one ever stopped to ask themselves if we should. “Cats” as a concept represents the duality of man. On one hand, we can be rational, logical, and powerful masters of our own destiny, society, and even nature itself. On the other hand, we can be cats. 

Director: Tom Hooper
Starring: James Corden, Judi Dench, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellen, Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson, Francesca Hayward
Release Date: Dec. 20, 2019
Rated: PG
Grade: D-

Image courtesy of All Arts.