Resolving to Be Just a Little More American

    Having gone home over Christmas vacation, we were reminded of all those British things that we never even realized we missed and why things are different across the pond.

    First things first: We were so looking forward to having a legal drink that we didn’t even wait to land as the delightful crew of British Airways were kind enough to offer us gin and tonics along with our suspiciously steaming plane food. We continued to enjoy alcoholic beverages in good old-fashioned English pubs — very different from happy hour and taco Tuesdays in PB. It was a relief to open our mouths knowing that we would not immediately be questioned on where we came from due to our “super cute accents.” Furthermore, we could freely wander the streets as pedestrians again, jaywalking as we pleased. Everything in Britain seemed smaller and more suitably sized (American cars are practically the same size as British vans).

    Back in America, this time for the long haul, we decided our New Year’s Resolutions should focus upon embracing all elements of American culture and the Californian lifestyle. Number one: We shall go to the beach weekly and by the end of the quarter have such toned, yogalicious bodies that we will join the ranks at Blacks in our birthday suits. Number two: We shall be asked out by an all- American college frat bro and go on a plethora of typical American dates (i.e. to games, movies, and if all things go well, Thanksgiving with his family next year). Number three: During finals week, we will awake at 3 p.m. and announce to all our flatmates that we shall spend the night in the library studying for some obscure engineering exam. In Geisel, we will spend hours on Facebook with 20-minute interval naps, and then as night approaches we shall inevitably panic, go to the bathroom and take Adderall washed down with Rockstar. At 2 a.m. UCSD will hopefully reward our late night studies with free doughnuts.

    Moreover, just to feel more like an American student we will begin by exclaiming that everything is “cute.” And if there is a slight breeze, we shall complain about how cold it is outside, and most importantly we will start driving everywhere while moaning that Geisel is too far a walk. Number four: Vegas. Enough said.

    While we plan to learn a lot from Americans, we cannot help but feel there are some things that they could learn from us in 2013. Firstly, English spellings are the original, authentic, traditional and correct examples of the English language. During our infamous rush week, after hearing that Mia was from London, a girl proceeded to ask her where she had learnt her English. Mia did not join that sorority. We think that this is excellent evidence that Americans should expand their horizons, and the remaining two-thirds of the population should get a passport. Additionally, the Japanese never eat dairy — why is cream cheese in every sushi on the Bistro menu? Climate change is really happening; lights need to be turned off; cars need to be smaller; portions don’t need to be the size of your head: Less is more.

    Happy 2013 everyone — we have a good feeling about the year ahead. Let the Californication recommence.

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