Bikini Apps or Not, We

    Advancements in medicine ‘mdash; more specifically cosmetic sugery ‘mdash; are even more obvious in their ultimate purpose.

    According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the demand for cosmetic surgery has increased 126 percent since 1997. In 2008, the top four surgical cosmetic procedures were breast augmentation, liposuction, eyelid surgery and tummy tucks.

    With this sort of demand, our medical abilities have become so mind-blowingly quick and affordable that anyone can be thinner and sexier if they muster up a couple grand. While I’m totally amazed at the ability to reconstruct a boob and the evolving medical procedures that go along with that, it still doesn’t change the fact that the ultimate purpose of any sort of plastic surgery is to look better and get laid.

    So next time someone gets all deep and starts talking about how technology has helped society become more sophisticated, think real hard about all the times you’ve used the Internet to stare at hot people in bathing suits, or search for the closest Chipotle. Maybe the human race is simpler than you think.

    ” />

    As the daughter of two Silicon Valley-based engineers, I’ve always been taught that man’s sophistication evolves in conjunction with the technology he uses. My reaction to parently lessons like these was to scowl, strut to my room, sign on to AOL and blog in my Xanga about how my pArEnTaLs WeRe sOo LaMe.

    While it’s true that a guy in a suit holding an iPhone immediately looks 10 times more civilized than a caveman with a club, that doesn’t mean our instincts have become less primal. In fact, recent developments in personal planning and medical research are increasingly catering to’ ‘mdash; not eliminating ‘mdash; our animal qualities.

    Take the iPhone, for example. Before finally braving the touchscreen world, I used to be pretty intimidated by Apple’s technological splendor. The iPhone was as an invention for the cultured ‘mdash; offering immediate GPS access and the latest updates on world politics. But since I caved and upgraded my iPod, I’ve realized the available apps aren’t as intellectual as I thought.

    Currently, the most popular paid application in the iTunes lifestyle store is ‘Bikini Blast’ ‘mdash; a sexy iPhone accessory that offers more than 700 photos of scantily clad women for just 99 cents. Other applications, like the more discreet ‘Bikini Paradise,’ advertise ‘intuitive interface’ for your viewing pleasure and a ‘smart passcode protection’ system to keep your girly gawking under wraps. While I’d like to believe the guy next to me on the bus is smirking because he just finished reading a fantastically researched article in the New York Times, he’s probably just (secretly) getting off to Trixie’s double Ds.

    Advancements in medicine ‘mdash; more specifically cosmetic sugery ‘mdash; are even more obvious in their ultimate purpose.

    According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the demand for cosmetic surgery has increased 126 percent since 1997. In 2008, the top four surgical cosmetic procedures were breast augmentation, liposuction, eyelid surgery and tummy tucks.

    With this sort of demand, our medical abilities have become so mind-blowingly quick and affordable that anyone can be thinner and sexier if they muster up a couple grand. While I’m totally amazed at the ability to reconstruct a boob and the evolving medical procedures that go along with that, it still doesn’t change the fact that the ultimate purpose of any sort of plastic surgery is to look better and get laid.

    So next time someone gets all deep and starts talking about how technology has helped society become more sophisticated, think real hard about all the times you’ve used the Internet to stare at hot people in bathing suits, or search for the closest Chipotle. Maybe the human race is simpler than you think.

    Donate to The UCSD Guardian
    $0
    $2500
    Contributed
    Our Goal

    Your donation will support the student journalists at University of California, San Diego. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment, keep printing our papers, and cover our annual website hosting costs.

    More to Discover
    Donate to The UCSD Guardian
    $0
    $2500
    Contributed
    Our Goal