You gave me cashews, man — I can’t smoke this,” complains a
drug-addicted Michael Swaim in a Those Aren’t Muskets sketch. “If I come over
and give you money for weed, are you going to shoot at my car again?”
A peek at the ridiculous plots of three Those Aren’t Muskets
skits, all hosted on their Web site.
Sleeves
“I can wear whatever I want!”
“Would you wear a gunhat, Mark? Would you wear bombpants?
Three friends try to help their roommate Mark with his
anti-sleeve problem — not that any of them have room to talk, one being a
heroin addict and another an alcoholic. UCSD students Brian Kelley and Heather
Pauly join Epperson and Swaim in this faux intervention.
Sharon and the Girls
“Tell me you didn’t name your penis and testicle after the
cast of the Golden Girls.”
Swaim, Muskets castmember Ryan Ricketts and UCSD student
Geoffrey Lapid play three guys attempting to enjoy a poker game, but are
interrupted when they begin arguing about appropriate names for a guy’s unit —
“spitzo and two jabronis” or “Sharon and the girls”?
Porn Video Blog Ep. 1
“It’s getting up to a fever pitch. I mean, if this were an
internal combustion engine we’d be going 20, 25 miles an hour.”
Those Aren’t Muskets host Cracked.com barred the troupe from
hosting porn on the site, but allowed Swaim to watch pornography and frankly
describe the experience to the audience in this episode.
TAM is a sketch comedy troupe that formed three months ago
from a partnership between two recent UCSD graduates, Swaim and Abe Epperson.
“We just spent a month making the Web site and getting the
Web site live,” Swaim said. “We have a pretty regular workflow; every two weeks
we have a production cycle that produces a new sketch.”
Right now, the Muskets’ Web site is home to 11 sketches,
some of which have over 100,000 views each.
“My favorite thing about Those Aren’t Muskets is their wit
and their humor,” Sixth College sophomore Brentan Schellenbach said. “I watch
them almost every day. I feel like they’re people I could get to know and
respect in real life. They seem very approachable and they’re just hilarious.”
Epperson and Swaim share creative duties, with Swaim serving
as the primary writer and Epperson as the director and visual editor. The
Muskets recently signed a deal with humor Web site Cracked.com, which gives
them the opportunity to make more — ambitious videos.
“They just approved ‘Internet Party,’ which I’m really
excited about,” Swaim said. “We’re back to what I think we like the best, which
is giant, elaborate real sketches that are a narrative and have high production
values. It’s got 13 characters, and it’s going to be a really good shoot.”
Because the group has a core membership of only two people,
most of the Muskets’ cast and crew come from a pool of friends and connections
made at UCSD in Swaim and Epperson’s respective majors, theater and visual
arts. The group feels a strong connection to the campus and is looking to
expand its audience there.
“We’ve had a cinematographer from UCSD come in when I’m in
sketches,” Epperson said.
Swaim is currently writing and producing the comedy play
“Olympus Inc.” through UCSD’s undergraduate cabaret program, and hopes to
include the cast in future Muskets sketches.
“It’s going up in
Galbraith 157 the weekend of week seven,” he said. “It’s the most ambitious
play that has ever been done through the program, and of the 16 castmembers,
eight to 10 of them have asked me to do TAM stuff.”
In addition to their close working relationship with UCSD
and its students, Swaim and Epperson said their partnership and differing
strengths help create Muskets’ unique comedy sketch style.
“I think a problem with a lot of amateur people making
comedy, as we are, is that they think all they need is a funny idea,” Swaim
said. “That’s basically all I do, and then Abe attacks it from the opposite
angle and uses all the tools of film to make it funny. Pacing, editing and
camerawork are a huge component that I think is missing in a lot of Internet
sketch comedies, and I think it’s one of the things that makes us excellent.”
Epperson said the Muskets’ ambitions come partly from a
“VIYOB craze” — video in your own backyard.
“It’s this idea that anyone can be a producer if you have a
Macbook Pro and a camera,” Epperson said. “At that point almost anyone who has
a little money and the wherewithal and ambition can do whatever they want. Why
not access that and just cut out the corporate part?”
Epperson and Swaim plan to keep the comedy troupe active and
producing sketches every two weeks for at least a year, after which they will
decide whether to continue in Los Angeles or part ways.
“At the end of the year, the best case scenario would be
having the opportunity, financially, to continue working on what I want to work
on,” said Swaim. “This is what I love to do; my goal in life is to do this. I
think we’re succeeding right now … I don’t have to treat everything as a
monumental project … it’s something that happens twice a month, and that’s
incredible to me.”
Epperson hopes the pair will be able to continue working
together next year. He said working with Swaim is the most enjoyable part of
TAM.
“It’s a unique relationship because we live with each
other,” Epperson said. “There’s something about a work relationship that is
literally at your doorstep all the time. We just turn on and turn off. It’s
literally, ‘Hey, Those Aren’t Muskets nonsense,’ and then ‘Hey! Larry David!’
It’s a really nice, relaxing situation, but you’d be alarmed at how efficient
we are.”
Of course, having a compatible business partner and roommate
isn’t the only thing Epperson enjoys about working with Swaim.
“Also the mad cocaine parties,” he said, laughing. “Those
are great.”
