Are you on Facebook? The question is as ubiquitous these days as the incessantly annoying Nokia ringtone. Internet networks, blogging and that ever-wonderful tool of nonconfrontation, the e-mail, have all become such cultural fixtures for our generation that to underestimate their impact would be foolhardy; indeed, it is probably impossible to fully grasp the peculiar nature of young people today without taking a serious look at the endless hours wasted, lost forever, on such online exhibitionism.
As pervasive as they are, however, one defining characteristic of our relations to such pastimes is that we are not entirely comfortable with them. There is a certain amount of shyness, even shame, surrounding the internet community issue. People often scoff at those who make a habit of hanging out on Facebook, and it becomes an ego-booster to more or less proclaim oneself too busy and too confident to condescend to such desperation. Yet more and more people join nonetheless. Not only are populations on Internet networks like Facebook or MySpace expanding like a rabbit colony, but bunnies of all sorts get in for fun. The days of emo kids dominating the cyber sphere have come to an end; the normal, the boring and the eccentric have pushed them aside. As peer pressure expands exponentially to relieve each new member of his sense that he lacks a social life, we all collectively reduce our social lives in an unspoken, mutually shared agreement.
Yet the emo roots of such cultural addictions still run strong — unfortunately. The tendency for the distraught, confused and disoriented to spill their guts out on their Internet diaries is as consistent as ever. It is apparently much too tempting to unburden yourself to the priest of cyber space and endlessly detail, in public, your every hate, insecurity and mortal enemy. That it complicates relationships with people who read these posts in turn does not seem to always matter. That it is ethically questionable to attack people online and then deny them their human right to defend themselves and respond on the same grounds does not seem to bother. The high we get from disposing of that negative energy without the immediate consequences of releasing it, and making it someone else’s problem as well, is just too much — and we capitulate.
The worst of these excesses can be seen in blogs like YouCSD.com. While the site is occasionally entertaining, there is hardly a dearth of entertaining material on the Web — and thus YouCSD seems only to be an avenue through which UCSD students can anonymously mock and ridicule one another. That people enjoy the thrill of asserting their ability to criticize is nothing special, but at least other campus avenues for this, such as the California Review, the New Frontier, or even the Koala, are done openly and therefore with some semblance of honesty and integrity. Something like YouCSD brings out the worst in our generation, the underlying fuel to all the compulsive blogging, networking and online gossip circulation.
That fuel is, quite simply, self-absorption. Our generation is remarkably and ridiculously self-absorbed. The amount of time we spend worrying, thinking, writing and complaining about our existence and ourselves far exceeds anything that our parents’ generation would recognize. In previous generations, many young people spent their time worrying about where to work, when to marry and what career to choose. But the age of the Twixters means we spend our time worrying about much more substantial things — like how stupid everyone else seems, how society is destroying our souls with consumerism (while we benefit from this development all the same) and how traumatizing our love lives are. And posting pictures of ourselves. We really like to do this as well.
This is simply an honest critique of the blogosphere from a dedicated blogger. Analyzing the blogosphere is necessary, even if not particularly flattering conclusions are reached. Yet the self-absorption machine of the Internet actually can be used for emotionally and socially productive ends — it is not just for emo kids or supernerds. As ridiculous as self-absorption can be, blogs provide a unique outlet for self-expression and, most importantly, self-publishing, that in turn creates a world of culture and gives voices to those too unconventional to be heard in the mainstream spheres. Blogging and Internet networks allow people to connect without the use of stellar social skills or a justifiable excuse for asking one’s name — it allows us to be more honest about ourselves and realize collectively our shared humanity. In short, we are all lame enough for Facebook. Such a fact should be comforting, not depressing.
As long as two simple rules are followed, Internet networks and blogging can be a positive addition to your life. First, do not air dirty laundry online. Attacking or complaining about others online and not to their faces is simply cowardly and an unfair attempt to get something for nothing. Second, do not treat a blog like a psych couch. If you are crying in a corner or cutting yourself, you need a therapist and a private journal, not a live one. A little reflection here and there is fine, but depending on blogs for discussion of serious problems is never a good idea and only perpetuates such unhealthy behavior; it is no coincidence if one blogger’s cutting stories somehow manage to produce similar ones in her girlfriends’ journals within months.
Whether or not one has a blog, almost everyone has felt the blogosphere’s strange and mysterious tug. It is the same tug we feel when watching reality television, the same tug that made you snoop in your sister’s diary: Humans are fascinated by other humans. As long as this honesty and this exchange remains healthy and ethical in tone, blogs and Internet networks can be beautiful things, hopefully allowing us to become slightly more connected, even as we stiltedly and shyly indulge in our unspoken interest in everything “us.”
