I have waited far too long to visit Derry. Due to my academic work, social life, and apprehension about a nearly nine hour bus ride down poorly paved roads, I have put off visiting Northern Ireland until this last week.

There are many reasons for visiting the North. It is beautiful; it counts as another country on the list, and of course, it is famous for one of the world’s most watched civil turmoils. Political scientists from all over the world flock to Northern Ireland to study the so- called “”troubles”” between the Nationalist Catholics and the Unionist Protestants.

It is a conflict that most Americans know enough about to fear (i.e., the Irish Republican Army), but not enough to truly understand. This is not due to sheer ignorance as some might suggest, but the amazing density of the problem over an area the size of Connecticut.

Surprisingly, down in Cork, situated in the southern tip of the Republic of Ireland, but yet only a few hundred miles away from Belfast, the troubles may as well not exist. Earlier in the year, when home rule in Belfast was rescinded due to espionage by the Nationalist political party Sinn Fein, and the scandal reached even California’s newspapers (albeit 14 or 15 pages in), there wasn’t a flinch in Cork. Meanwhile, in Dublin and particularly in Belfast, the Irish prepared for increased terrorist activity, which thankfully hasn’t occurred as of yet.

So for all my nine months in Ireland, I know pitifully little about the conflict except for the long-winded material in so many books read from the comfort of Cork.

However, to try to get a better look into the troubles, I choose Derry rather than Belfast. While Derry has seen more peace than Belfast in terms of quantity of violence, it has been the site of many of the most disturbing and cruel of the atrocities.

When I arrive, I decide to wander aimlessly with a small, inadequate tourist map just to give me a hint of where to go. If you trail off the beaten path, you are much more likely to see things as how they really are, rather than the tourist or layman political scientist viewpoint.

Then, most importantly, I try to forget everything I know about the struggle because any bias would certainly impede any sort of progress; plus, I want to prove to my skeptical Irish friends that I really do want to understand the problem that pervades every part of their lives.

To an American, the issue of Nationalist and Unionists in Northern Ireland may be construed as relatively simple when witnessed from such a safe distance. The Nationalists want Ireland reunited and curse the British for ever setting foot on Irish soil. The Unionists consider Northern Ireland British, and their loyalties hold true even against rising opinion that Ireland should be reunited. However, as any of the Irish will tell you, once you’re in these cities, the situation becomes excruciatingly complicated.

And they are absolutely right. Even your preferred choice of name for the city identifies you with a political side: Derry for Nationalists and Londonderry for Unionists. Merely because I am lazy, I always say Derry and hope no one thinks I am taking sides. In fact, all of Derry emits a haze of tension that you cannot place a finger on. The people, while friendly, are definitely less open and talkative than the people of the South.

This is logical because Derry has been home to some of the most violent episodes in the troubles, including Bloody Sunday, when in 1972, British soldiers indiscriminately gunned down 13 civil rights protesters. Over 30 years later it is still a very sensitive subject to discuss with the Irish living in Derry.

Then, there are the murals. Northern Ireland’s larger cities are renowned for their sectarian streets and the communities coming to together and painting large murals on the sides of houses depicting political beliefs or recounting the past events. As one walks first through downtown Derry, which is predominantly Catholic, the streets are flooded by painted images of British soldiers shooting the innocent, praises to IRA leaders and a large stone wall that proclaims, “”You are now entering Free Derry.”” Most of the murals evoke mourning, oppression and a march toward freedom. They are definitely moving, but as a skeptic, I attempt to resist any emotional involvement in the statements of the murals.

After a long walk across the River Foyle, the Protestant area opens up. These murals are even more patriotic than the Nationalist’s murals. All of them are saturated by the red, white and blue of the British Union Jack, and all them proclaim the deeds of Ulster Scotch-Irish who became leaders around the world, including George Washington. But it also houses the most startling murals in Derry.

The creature originally used on the cover of Iron Maiden’s single “”The Trooper”” wears a British uniform and is carrying a tattered Union Jack while storming across a battleground with dead Irish Nationalists around him. The painted banner states that Unionists will fight and kill Nationalists even if there is only one Unionist left alive. The picture is haunting and unrepentant. However, with the notorious cruelty of the IRA and the number of innocent civilians killed in their attacks, it is not terribly difficult to see the anger and disgust at the Irish Nationalists.

At the same time that these murals unabashedly proclaim very harsh stances toward peace, and a visitor may be torn between which side has more validity, there is also a statue that stands at the side of the bridge over the river. It depicts two Irishmen standing on a broken wall with a gap between them. They are both extending their hands to each other and with decidedly weary looks in their eyes, but postures of lingering pride. It is a very moving image of the desire for peace in the city and the rest of Ireland.

It seems very confusing. Within half a mile of this amazing statue are some of the most angry statements and slogans I have ever seen. This is where the true complexities of the troubles lie. Most of the Irish do want peace very much. However, the varying degrees of patriotism for the different factions always hurts those trying to make peace. Even if the great majority desires peace, the small splinter paramilitary groups have managed to ruin most of the progress, including the famous Clinton-brokered 1998 peace accords.

And unfortunately, there is very little middle ground, where most of the peace process takes place. The government is controlled mostly by Unionists and a few extreme Nationalists from Sinn Fein. Anyone straddling the middle is considered a traitor to both sides. It is an issue instilled in children at birth, and the Irish grow up nearly unquestioning in the loyalty to their heritage.

It was a moving experience, but I came no closer to which side has more validity. In the end, the only right answer I could see is in moderation. The extremes have put Northern Ireland in its current state, and it seems as if the only way out is compromise, which is gut-wrenching to both sides.

As I take the train back, I reaffirm that there is something to be said about the peacefulness of Cork, which long ago put away its arms. But then again, it must be very boring for all those political scientists.