What is your first reaction when hearing that a college girl has been date raped or sexually assaulted?

Is your reaction one of indignation, skepticism, anger or fear? I submit that your answer depends in large part on how you view rape and sexual assaults committed by someone known to the victim.

So let’s test your Date Rape IQ. The following is a completely fictional scenario, but based on true reported accounts:

Sam takes Sarah to a party, where they both have a few drinks. This is the second date, and Sarah thinks Sam is a considerate and kind guy. Sam says he wants her to come up to his room and listen to this great CD he just burned. As Sam walks Sarah up to his room, he cuddles and kisses her a little. When they arrive at his room, instead of playing the CD as she expects, Sam turns off the computer, shuts the door behind him and throws her on the floor. Sarah is completely bewildered, her shocked brain shrieking, “”What happened to the nice guy I know and like?”” Sam starts kissing her, tearing at her clothes. Sarah starts struggling, repeating, “”No, get off me.”” But Sam holds her down, pinning her wrists so that she can’t escape from his unwanted touches and violence. The next day, Sarah reports the attack to the campus police, and Sam is charged with sexual assault and battery, not rape, because he did everything but actual penetration. Sam is given probation, because administrators cite the use of alcohol as a mitigating circumstance.

So now that you’ve absorbed the situation, what do you think? Did any of the following six myths cross your mind?

Myth one is that a woman who agrees to go to a man’s house or room consents to have sex — so when the man initiates it, it is not really rape. In the scenario above, because Sarah willingly went up to Sam’s room, it was reasonable for Sam to expect sex and to infer that she was consenting to sex by simply being there.

The reality is that the act of going up to Sam’s room does not forfeit Sarah’s right to say “”no”” to sex if he makes his move, nor does that act give inferrence that she wants sex. Consent cannot be implied from ambiguous actions, and when Sarah explicitly said “”no,”” Sam was required by law to honor her wishes and stop.

California Penal Code section 261.6 clearly states that “”In prosecutions … ‘consent’ shall be defined to mean positive cooperation in act or attitude pursuant to an exercise of free will. The person must act freely and voluntarily …””

Myth two is that because a girl acts or dresses a certain way, she’s asking for sex — thus, she has herself to blame if she is raped. Because Sarah went with Sam to the party, and they were on kissing terms, Sam could reasonably expect from these flirtations that she wanted sex, so his violent actions were justified.

Wrong: The truth is that no matter how a woman chooses to dress, act or even flirt in a given situation, she does not in any way condone the violence by her date to force her into sex.

Myth three is that when a woman says “”no,”” it really means “”yes.”” The mentality sometimes is that, “”Oh, she’s just leading me on,”” “”She’s just playing hard to get,”” or, “”She doesn’t really mean it.””

The reality is that she means “”no.”” This myth underlies the pervasive societal attitudes that perpetuate an atmosphere that allows — and even encourages — date rape or sexual assault. Clearly, the mantra that needs to be drummed into society’s ear is: When you hear “”no,”” take it as “”no”” and cease all advances.

Myth four is the belief that rape is a sexual act.

The truth is that rape, or a sexual assault of any nature, is all about control and dominance and has nothing to do with sexual fantasies or frustrations.

Myth five is that once the physical injuries of the attack heal, the woman will easily be able to get over what happened to her.

The reality of the situation is that it’s not so easy for a woman to move on when, in essence, she was forced to be a sexual slave. Though the outward injuries heal, the mental and psychological effects will always haunt her in some respects. The feeling of violence and violation go beyond the single act of penetration or forced sexual encounter. The feelings of betrayal by someone you trust committing such a heinous act are something that many victims say take a long time to reconcile, and that it also takes a long time to learn to trust again.

Myth six is that since alcohol was involved in the scenario with Sam and Sarah, the assailent’s responsibly is nixed, and is instead shifted to the victim. Thus, since Sarah engaged in the risky behavior of drinking, the consequences of being raped would be beyond harsh sanction by the administration because of that alcohol factor.

The reality is quite the opposite, for as long as the assailant knows of a girl’s diminished state due to the alcohol she consumed, he still is required by penal code not to proceed.

Section 261, No. 3 states that rape encompasses situations “”where a person is prevented from resisting by any intoxicating or anesthetic substance, or any controlled substance, and this condition was known, or reasonably should have been known by the accused.”” This penal code empowers campus administrators with a clear, enforceable statute that dictates that rapes or sexual assaults involving alcohol be treated the same as those without. Yet for some reason, it has become a standard practice for administrators to avoid prosecuting a case to the fullest extent possible because of the alcohol component. This lax enforcement of rape cases involving alcohol or drugs extends to the criminal justice system as well, which points to the underlying truth that societal norms haven’t changed as swiftly as the laws.

Out of the six myths above, how many did you relate to?

These myths are antiquated, without merit and undeniably cruel, and therefore must be disengaged from the belief system of every person.

Society must make it very clear: Rape is rape. When a woman says “”no,”” she means “”no.”” And when a rape occurs, no matter the circumstances, the state/campus must prosecute to the fullest extent.

To anyone who has been a victim of a rape or a sexual assault, there is a supportive community at the on-campus Student Safety Awareness Program. You can also call the 24-hour rape crisis hotline at (858) 272-1767.

Rape is the most underreported crime of all. Don’t let the societal stigma of shame deter you from seeking a just remedy or attaining closure. Demand your dignity back and “”take back the night”” by reporting the crime.