It’s Hard to Find Butterflies On the Web

    But after going on a few actual dates with guys I had chatted with on OkCupid, I realized that online dating pretty much sucked out all the little things I found fun about dating.

    We’ve all heard someone (or even ourselves) say “the chase is half the fun.” Just because it’s trite doesn’t mean it’s not true, and I’m starting to think the cliche actually has more to offer than I once thought. The anticipation of having a guy flirt with you, waiting for him to text you and everything else that leads up to the actual date (be it a friend request or flowers sent to your doorstep) is something that online dating readily lacks (in addition to a good meet-cute to recount at parties).

    Now whether the dates I’ve been on have been enjoyable or not is somewhat irrelevant at this point (they’ve all been consistently okay — no horror stories yet), but that’s because so far they’ve all been kind of the same. True, each guy had a different major, a different hometown and ordered a different kind of coffee, but each date followed the same general format.

    Besides having a slightly ulterior motive (cough — this column), all cards were pretty much laid right out on the coffee table that sat between my date and myself. Intentions were made clear and that was that. There’s no mystery. No poker face and definitely no butterflies.

    Maybe this is indicative of the guys I’ve met (one of whom found out about this column, which may have made him feel more on the spot than I would have intended — sorry dude) but for the most part the methodical and interview-like format of these dates turned me off regardless of the suitor himself. Now if I were forty-something looking to settle down, online dating would be a great resource. It’s easy, efficient and almost guarantees you a handful of dates. But I’m looking for someone to make my heart race, not make my biological clock tick.

    I’ve been involved with my fair share of douche bags and I’ll readily admit that I’d take boring over the guy who texted me “this is the message you’ve been waiting for for the past three days” without a doubt. But even that guy — the guy who inevitably forced me to raise my standards — got me more excited than any guy I could have met online simply because he was unpredictable, a factor that is
    inherently removed from online dating.

    But even though I have a few gripes about the process itself, I’ll continue to give this whole thing a shot, though I might have to get through a quick rom-com sesh of “Love Actually” first, in order to reinstate the lingering romantic sentiment I’ve lost.

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