{grate 3} No one can love a girl with a pig’s shnoz. It’s borderline
bestiality. Not even the mother who gave birth to the second coming of Miss
Piggy could love that face — but never mind all that. The message of modern-day
fairytale “Penelope” is not that you’ll eventually meet someone who will like
you despite your upturned and fleshier-than-normal snout; rather, instead of
staying on the prowl for that someone, you’ve gotta like way you are first.
Penelope Wilhern (Christina Ricci) is a blue-blood
aristocrat who just happens to have a pig snout. The film starts off with a
whirlwind pre-title sequence, which reveals that the titular character’s
porcine features are a result of a family curse.
Generations back, a male Wilhern screws over a maid by
knocking her up but never marrying her, and this maid’s mother — who happens to
be the town witch — places a curse upon the Wilhern family: The next girl born
to a Wilhern will be a little porker. Luckily, male Wilhern came after male
Wilhern. That is, until Penelope was born.
Living in a celebrity-obsessed culture, Penelope’s parents
Jessica and Franklin (Catherine O’Hara and Richard E. Grant) fake the infant’s
death to hide her from prying tabloids. Penelope grows up isolated in her manor
attic, surrounded by fake scenery and enough knick-knacks to fill FAO Schwartz.
For a pig girl confined to solitude, she’s pretty well adjusted and charming.
The only way for Penelope to break the curse is for “one of
her own” to love her; the Wilherns interpret this as a need for another
blue-blood socialite to marry Penelope and quickly set up every rich boy to
court her.
Unfortunately, once she reveals her face to a suitor, he
takes the quickest route out (usually through a second story window). Truth is,
though, Penelope really isn’t that nasty-looking. There’s no justification in
hurling yourself through stained glass after seeing her; Ricci actually looks
pretty cute with pig nostrils.
The story gets rolling when Lemon (the diminutive but apt
Peter Dinklage), a tabloid reporter who has been following the Penelope story,
hatches a scheme with laughable Edward Vanderman (Simon Woods), to get a photo
of Penelope for Page One. Knowing the curse, they hire Max Campion (dreamboat
James McAvoy), a down-and-out rich boy plagued by gambling woes, to court
Penelope and get the picture. Upon confrontation though, Max falls for
Penelope’s charms and doesn’t follow through with the plan.
“Penelope” takes place in a not-quite-real timeless
where national identity is distorted with a jumble of American, British and
England
in use. It’s saturated with an array of visually pleasing, vibrant colors
reminiscent of the work done by Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Tim Burton.
And like Jeunet’s and Burton’s films, “Penelope” mashes
fairytale fantasy and modern reality to create a fable that leaves a strange,
warm feeling inside you despite the obvious fact that there’s no way someone
can love a human-pig hybrid. Nevertheless, you will still fall for its charm,
cutesy message and all. Don’t worry — this loving’s kosher.
