It’s been almost a month since former senator George
Mitchell unleashed a 409-page bombshell on Major League Baseball and its
community of players, coaches, administrators and fans. The shocking revelation
uncovered by the diligent ex-politician: baseball players have been using
performance-enhancing drugs, and the use of banned substances was prevalent
among utility players like Neifi Perez and sure-thing Hall of Famers like Roger
Clemens.

For the average citizen who hasn’t seen more than a minute
of baseball over the last decade, this may come as a shock; but to those who
have followed the sport with any consistency, this is about as newsworthy and
unexpected as Britney’s latest mental breakdown. Proof of F.P. Santangelo’s
usage surprised me, but only because I figured someone with as useless a career
as his must have been honest and clean.

Although the names that Mitchell dropped were hardly
impressive, the Mitchell Report was not an entire waste of time. Well, actually
the report was, but the aftermath was not. In a press conference organized by
Bud Selig, the MLB commissioner stood behind a podium and addressed the urgent
questions that the nation’s top sports journalists had. He appeared somewhat
eloquent and distinguished for a few questions until a reporter asked about a
specific part of the report. In response, the commissioner of baseball admitted
that he had not read the report and that he had only been briefed on its
contents.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

This man is paid almost $15 million a year to run a sport, a
job I would kill for, and can’t find the time to read the most important
document on the most pressing subject at the most crucial time during his
tenure.

I would argue that while no one person can be blamed for the
sad state of affairs in baseball today, if I had to put one person on the
chopping block it would be Selig. While the lack of a salary cap is a debate
for another day, his main shortcoming has been his decision to turn a blind eye
to the corruption in the sport because Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa hugging on
the front page of every newspaper in 1998 made baseball the $6 billion
enterprise it is today. However, when it became clear that steroid use was not
a fad and that it had taken over the sport, Selig turned into a diligent
baseball sheriff, ready to kick ass in the morning and take names in the
evening.

His first step: hiring the former senator to lead an independent
investigation to uncover the dirty truths behind the sport. I don’t know why
anyone expected a MLB-sponsored report to uncover any real scandals, but I
think I speak for all fans when I say that the man who commissioned the report
should be responsible for reading it as well.

While his press conference was held only hours after the
Mitchell Report was released to the public, Selig must have received it at
least a week in advance, during a time when no baseball was being played — and
he couldn’t cram in some serious reading time? I was in the middle of studying
for finals when the document came out and I found the time to skim it, but Bud
couldn’t find an Adderall hookup and pull an all-nighter so he could actually
be prepared for his own press conference and appear like a capable
commissioner.

This is the last straw. For years, Selig has seemed out of
his league. Maybe the Pacific Coast League could use a new leader or maybe
Selig should just retire with his millions and expand his collection of tweed
blazers. Either way, he should not preside over a sport that is in desperate
need of some revolutionary changes.