Maybe you went in with the best of intentions. You hear Gus Van Sant is an artiste. These are the last days of Kurt Cobain (vaguely veiled). So you can’t miss this. It’s got to be a boundary-shaking, existential masterpiece to decipher smugly for hours afterwards! Well, sure — in theory. But oh, what a glorious nap it was. Maybe it’s because Van Sant’s subjects have slightly predictable endings — Cobain; Columbine in “Elephant” …? No, no, that’s not it. Oh, wait. I’m faintly starting to remember … Cut to scene. EXT. HOUSE – DAY. An open window reveals an empty room with blank walls. A young man with stringy, peroxide-blonde hair hiding his face passes by the window for a split second. A few minutes later, he does it again. Repeat ad infinitum. Cut to: INT. HOUSE – DAY. A small television set is turned to a music video, sound blaring. A title appears to reveal that these inspired musicians are Boyz II Men, just as you feared. The camera stays still on the TV screen as the video plays out. An entire Boyz II Men video. And I’m talking romantic slow here. Singer’s arms spread out to embrace the love. The works. Now it’s all coming back: watching the exterior of the house some more … watching the back of “Blake” aka Kurt as he stumbles through the forest for hours, mumbling unintelligibly … watching him slump to the floor in slow motion … Van Sant wanted to jar us, poor thing. Instead, the whole nonevent was worthy of a prescription. Sweet dreams!