It’s halfway into the quarter now and all your weird new roommates are still spending random evenings out in the common room bonding through a game of Truth or Dare.
Instead of going out and joining them, however, you find yourself locked in your room clutching your baby blanket and dialing the phone number of your best friend from home after spending hours reading those oh-so-meaningful “”It’s been fun, have a nice life”” messages in your yearbook.
You realize that suddenly just two weeks of being away from home is already two weeks too many. You know that you have a bad case of homesickness, that you’re just missing the place where you were sheltered and babied by your parents, who found it crucial to ensure that every one of your minuscule wants and desires were met. Whether you’re one of the freshmen that jets home right after class ends every Friday since Welcome Week, or one of the ones who actually considers UCSD to be their home, we all get struck by this disease some time.
“”Homesickness affects first year students in different degrees,”” said Reina Juarez, director of Psychological and Counseling Services. “”It is normal to yearn for home because of the transition and realization that home will never be the same again. We only get concerned about it possibly leading to depression when after six months a student is still finding it hard to adapt to college life.””
Here are a few pain-free tips on how to rid yourself of this infection in no time.
Get off your butt
First, make sure you stay busy. If you find yourself with too much free time on your hands, of course your mind is going to wander off to that favorite shirt you left at home and are dying to wear. Instead of letting yourself fall into this trap, spend more time studying instead of counting the individual floor tiles in the bathroom. Anytime you miss home, just remind yourself why you are away from home in the first place: to get a good education.
But of course, we can’t just study all the time or we’ll end up depressed and miss out on the social life that makes the college experience what it is.
“”There are several ways to get involved,”” said Ellen Erenea, director of the SOLO program. “”UCSD has over 400 organizations in the SOLO database and the six colleges all offer other orgs as well.””
Your options include everything from Greek life to religious clubs where you can meet others who share your views and hobbies, and possibly become your second family. More spirited groups, such as Triton Tide, will keep you in a cheery mood so you forget all about home, or you can kill time on the field playing on the Ultimate Frisbee team. No matter which organizations you find to be right for you, your evenings will soon fill up with meetings and events so that at 7 p.m., instead of daydreaming about that family dinner you would be having right then, you’ll be out exploring your interests, finding your place at UCSD, and making new friends. If you really want to have a quality family dinner, you can always go to McDonald’s. They love to see you smile.
Stop being anti-social
New friends are another thing. While you’re off at college, away from everything and everyone familiar to you, it is vital to have great friends you can be yourself around. Instead of coming home to your family, you open your suite door to your roommates and friends: your default family. Once you’ve found a few people you know you’ll be close to, behave candidly and don’t be afraid to open up to them, just as you would with your family at home. After all, you’re stuck with these people whether or not you like it. The more comfortable you let yourself feel around them, the more you’ll feel you can depend on them.
Don’t run Œcause you can’t hide
The next step to preventing homesickness is to avoid going home as often as you may want to. If you go home every single weekend, while you may think you are doing yourself a favor by easing the pain and reuniting yourself with your pet turtle, you are only digging the hole deeper. Come Sunday evening when it’s time to make your return to UCSD, you will be reminded of how much you wish you could just stay home where no one will move your laundry if you forget to take it out of the dryer. Too bad, but you actually have to come back here. By going home all the time, you risk thinking about the great weekend you had at home all through the week and how much you can’t wait until next weekend. Going home too often can deprive college students of leading a full campus life because they’re so attached to home, it’s like they never even left. Instead, try to make trips home less frequent so your home life won’t take over your UCSD life.
Lastly, let’s face it, no matter how busy you are, how dear your friends are to you, or when the last time you went home was, there are still those times when we just feel so bogged down by everything. Unfortunately, without a car you’re stuck here Œcause it’s a four-day walk home. For the times that the homesick symptoms hit hard, try looking at pictures, calling home, or just hang out with someone else who went to your high school (only if you can stand him), so you can talk about your hometown. These quick methods usually provide some short-term relief for homesickness.
Just remember, while UCSD can feel overwhelming and crowded with more people than you’ll probably ever know, it is your home away from home for the next four years or the duration of your college career. It will be in your best interest to make sure you can make it your home, and if not, then remember what they tell you at Psych Services: You are not alone. According to Juarez, free, confidential help is always available there.
Strive to stay optimistic and you’ll be just fine, because as sophomore Wendy Peterson said, “”Thou shalt not be homesick, for the home is where your friends are, which is here, near your heart ‹ and UCSD.””
