Dear Miranda,

My boyfriend and I have been together for three months. Lately, he’s been hinting that he’d really like to try anal sex. He isn’t pressuring me or anything, but I’m not sure if I should do it or not.

Do you think it’s a good idea? Also, if I decide to do it … how will it work?

— Jana, 19

Dear Jana,

You’re really the only one who can answer your first question. Do you want to do it? If you did, how would you feel about yourself and your relationship? If you and your boyfriend have a supportive and loving relationship, and you don’t feel pressured that he’ll break up with you for declining, there’s nothing wrong with trying new things.

Some girls are curious about anal sex, but worry that trying it will make them deviants. To ease your fears, take a look at the statistics.

According to a study conducted at UC San Francisco, in a random sampling of 3,432 adults in the United States, 25 percent had experimented with anal sex at some point. In the same study, a survey of 592 students at Midwestern University revealed that 17 percent of sexually experienced males and 18 percent of sexually experienced females had engaged in heterosexual anal intercourse.

If after careful consideration, you decide to try anal sex, there are several things you can do to make sure you’re prepared. The first thing I’d recommend is researching anal sex online.

To answer your question, I ran a search for “”anal sex tips”” on the online search engine Google. Surprisingly, no real porn sites presented themselves. What I did find, however, was a lot of helpful information and advice about the experience. In this case, I think educating yourself beforehand will make for a better encounter.

After you know what you’re in for and have had a chance to change your mind, talk to your boyfriend about your decision. Set out guidelines, including his promise that he’ll stop if you ask him to and his promise to wear a condom.

When it comes to the actual event, there are several things you can do to make the experience more comfortable for yourself. Make sure your boyfriend understands the importance of taking things slow to avoid hurting you. As I’m sure you’ll find from your research, lubrication is the key. The anus isn’t an area that produces natural lubrication, and without some outside help, you could end up tearing delicate tissue.

It might be better to start with manual penetration before moving on to, um, bigger things. This will help accustom you to the feeling of penetration, and help you to relax. The most important thing is for your whole body to be relaxed or penetration may be painful.

Now we get back to the point about condoms. Even if you and your boyfriend are monogamous, STD free and practice a type of birth control other than condoms, you MUST USE A CONDOM FOR ANAL SEX! The latex will work better with whatever lubrication you use (only oil-free lubricants are safe with latex), making for a more comfortable experience.

In the second place, unprotected anal sex is the easiest way for your boyfriend to pick up a nasty bacterial infection. And, of course, it’s much easier to catch an STD through anal sex than any other kind of sex.

That sounds scary, doesn’t it? But don’t let that frighten you. All kinds of sex should be about enjoyment and sharing.

Experimentation like this can help keep your sex life fresh and fun. If you decide to do it, there’s no reason why the experience can’t be as exciting and romantic as any other form of sex you engage in.

Best of luck,

Miranda