I’m now convinced that those ranting about how they consider the United States the devil incarnate have never been victims of police brutality in Mexico.

Ever since Tijuana police roughed me up because I was annoyed that someone had stolen from me, I can say with more conviction than ever that the United States is the greatest country in the world.

A little background is in order here. Upon leaving Safari, a Tijuana night club, I agreed to purchase a flower from a girl standing outside for $2. Admittedly, it was ignorant of me to give her a $20 bill and expect change, but I suppose that’s an American concept.

I argued with her for about 5 minutes before I called over a Safari security guard who, sure enough, took her side. So, being the stubborn guy I am, I argued with a 250-pound bouncer for about five minutes as my friends tried to drag me into a taxicab.

The thing is, it wasn’t about the money; it was, and still is, the principle. I work hard for my money, so it’s my humble belief that it’s wrong when other people steal it from me — one of those weird Republican concepts most people wouldn’t really understand.

In any case, I was irate when the security guard snatched the flower I was about to give to my friend, returned it to the vendor, told her to leave, and told me to “”go home.”” My indignation kicked in as I explained to that guy, from the bottom of my heart, that he was a colorful expletive that rhymes with “”clucker.””

To be frank, he didn’t appreciate it one bit.

I think he was trying to shove his hands through my rib cage, but I’m happy to say that he failed. Though somewhat bruised, my ribs are still intact.

Of course, two of Tijuana’s finest then proceeded to rough me up a bit, but I was happy they allowed me to flee to the taxicab rather than throw me into a TJ jail. Fortunately, my pragmatism kicked in, so I refrained from saying anything else to offend the rather displeased bouncer and his two police friends.

I don’t think I’ll be visiting that country again any time soon, but that eye-opening experience was indispensable in broadening my perspective on what makes the United States so great. You can imagine how happy I was when I crossed the border; I once again enjoyed American civil rights, including my right to object when others steal from me. Thus, I no longer had to worry about standing by helplessly and watch the state steal from me — until April 15, anyway, but that’s not quite so bad.

I suppose I found it so infuriating that the police would stand by and watch someone steal from me and then punish me for my vocal indignance because such outrages simply do not occur in the United States — whether you’re a citizen or not.

Although liberals like to believe otherwise, everyone in the United States — from the tax-paying citizen to foreign tourist and student to illegal immigrant — is entitled to the exact same civil rights. And that’s what’s so great about this country.

For instance, if I’m stopped at a traffic light on La Jolla Village Drive and see that bouncer crossing the street, the fact that I’m a tax-paying United States citizen and he isn’t does not entitle me to maliciously slam my foot on the accelerator and run him over. The state would prosecute me and he would sue me — and rightfully so. Someone’s status as an illegal immigrant should not justify acts of brutality, because our Constitution is based on the principle that everyone is equal under the eyes of the law.

Your average fanatical liberal will probably argue that the arrest and deportation, or denial of in-state tuition, of illegal immigrants refutes my claim. Such arguments have always been completely unfounded, however, because there is equal protection under immigration laws. Therefore, if anyone can dig up some dirt proving that I am, in fact, in this country illegally, the state would be more than justified in forcing me to reimburse the taxpayers for my claiming in-state tuition before deporting me.

Those same people will justify my state-initiated mugging by pleading incessantly for us to pity the poor girl, whose economic condition is — like the rest of the world’s problems — the fault of the mean old United States. I personally feel that such arguments are laughable, to say the least.

Yes, I am an American, and consequently enjoy a higher standard of living than the average Mexican. That does not mean, however, that my presence — or that of any other American, for that matter — does not intrinsically obligate us to function as a piggy bank whenever we cross the border. If some people feel that there is such an obligation, then how about if Americans were to stop spending money in Mexico? I don’t suppose we have an obligation to contribute to their economy, either.

The cumulative wealth of the United States is the sum of the wealth of its residents. Therefore, because my Lockian principles dictate that the individual should not be coerced into forfeiting to any body that which he or she has rightfully earned, the United States should not — despite what a vocal, ideological minority believes — be obligated to share the wealth it has earned with the rest of the world.

The fact that the United States chooses to donate billions of dollars in aid each year to impoverished countries shows the generosity of this country and its people. Those who disagree, however, are more than welcome to venture south of the border with all their possessions in a crusade to return the wealth they feel they, being part of the American economy, have kept from others; after all, this is a free country.

An old cliche says a liberal is a conservative who has never been mugged, and I’ve always found it amusing, but more so now than ever. It’s so easy for some people to sit atop their ivory towers and criticize America for what they consider are its faults, yet remain totally oblivious to its virtues as a civilization.

Perhaps such “”progressives”” should do some traveling outside the pristine halls of academia, and maybe they’ll learn that the United States has already made quite a bit of progress.