Exploring the depths of the female mind reveals appreciation, not jealousy

I am a 22-year-old woman. I do not claim to know much about the male psyche, or even the female psyche, for that matter. In fact, I am constantly perplexed by the characteristics of both sexes.

There are two words occasionally uttered by the raging testosterone that is man that I believe to be absolutely ridiculous. The two words I am speaking of: “”penis envy.””

What exactly does this mean? That I envy all the men who walk around with Slinkies between their legs? Or perhaps, I too wish that I had an additional member attached to my body that I could give a name? No boys, sorry. The only thing that I envy about the penis is that it allows you to pee without sitting down.

OK, I must admit that the penis appears to come with some advantages. For one, the lines that form in the men’s restroom go twice as fast as the women’s. Also, there is the user-friendly underwear specifically made for quick access. But this is hardly enough to make me run out and buy one from my doctor.

Just to be clear, I am not knocking those who have a penis, but “”envy”” suggests that I am unsatisfied with the anatomy of women. I think most would agree with me when I say that women’s bodies are beautiful.

So what is there to envy? If not the acutal penis, is it what the penis stands for to most men? Masculinity? Strength? A license to act perverted and pretend that I am doing it on the behalf of a little friend below my belly button?

The truth is that generally women do not want to have a penis. I say generally because there are transgendered people who would disagree with this. Women don’t envy what you have there between your legs, men! We love our bodies.

So the next time the words “”penis envy”” are about to roll off your tongue, think of another phrase that more accurately expresses how women really feel: “”penis appreciation.””