Women's Suffrage

My fellow Americans, a great injustice has taken place in our nation’s great and treasured history. Somewhere along the lines of time, men were fooled into giving women the right to vote. Regardless of how it happened, the ugly truth is that it did. What we must now do is move to correct this horrible problem before it gets worse.

All you fine people need to do is give me the A-OK and a cool million dollars in small, unmarked bills, and I will gladly put this horrible occurence behind us. I have some of the best spin doctors and public relations people that have ever lived. Give us a month and I can guarantee that nobody will remember that women ever had the right to vote. Hell, women will be willingly giving up this undue burden on their pretty little minds.

I know what you men are thinking. You think that if you support this righteous movement that your women-folk will resent you and you will be denied the luscious booty that we all covet so highly. I have no doubt in my mind that this is how women convinced us to give them the right to vote in the first place. We must now band together as a nation and be strong.

We cannot give in again. My fellow men, I feel your pain in the loss of sex, but trust me, it will not last long. If we act swiftly and efficiently, you will be tappin’ the sweet booty before you know it. Just think about what it was like before women could vote. They were subserviant to us and would give up the booty whenever we wanted it. They even cooked and cleaned. It was nice. It was very, very nice.

Think about the horror that has happened since women got the right to vote. We banned pot, got into some really big wars, people got AIDS and then we elected George “”Dubya.”” Yes, women’s suffrage is truly an ugly bruise on our nation’s great history.

In closing, my fellow American men (the true Americans), we must band together and fight the evil women. They may hold sex over our heads, but we must stay strong. I have felt your pain, my brothers, but I have also seen the light. The light that I have seen is one that will illuminate and outshine this dark era of our history that was a woman’s right to vote.

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