When No One Shaves, Everyone Loses

In November, seasons change, the birds fly South for the winter, and
men’s facial hair gets way out of hand. It’s the biggest phenomenon
to sweep college guys since the bromance: No-Shave November.

It’s where men shave at the beginning of November and then conveniently “misplace” their razors for the rest of the month transforming into Tom Hanks in “Castaway.”

However, those talented in growing facial hair often continue on to Don’t-
Shave December, Just-Don’t-Shave January, and Forget-to-Shave February.

As a woman I do not understand the pride that goes into growing facial
hair. Those who don’t have beards are women and boys. And it seems that
men want to prove they are neither. You could all try volunteering at an animal shelter instead. It’s just as hairy and will increase your chances of getting
laid, far more than not shaving.

There’s something special about watching men attempt to grow beards. Some get hobo beards, some get creepy stringy beards, and others have the ability to rock it like Clooney.

As No-Shave November seems to be celebration of masculinity (for while women create life, men create… more hair) I was curious if this ritual was used to hook the ladies by showing off their man-imal ways.

I couldn’t be more wrong.

Men go into No-Shave November knowing that it is a conscious decision
that will inhibit their interactions with women. It’s a month dedicated
sacrificial brotherhood. The trade off: An excuse to not shave for the longest
period since they were prepubescent.

The only force strong and stubborn enough to break this bond of refusing
to shave is “the girlfriend.” It’s understood among men that if a buddy has
a girlfriend, she’ll be first to say that the Hagrid look is has got to go if he
expects to get within yards of her. Thanksgiving break also often results in an understandable buzz to the midnight shadow so Mom does not mistake her son for Zach Galifianakis.

To me, it seems that this month is about laziness — because what better
pact to make with your buddies than forego personal hygiene? A few of my girlfriends voiced some excitement in participating in No-Shave November.

Because really, if guys are going to boycott the razor, we should be allowed to too. But when I brought this up to one of my guy friends, he did not approve.

His stance is yet another example of the male double standard — claiming
that it’s acceptable for men to not shave, while it’s unacceptable for
women to ditch the Gillette.

With these gender-biased comments, No-Shave November could go from a display of manliness to a feminist rebellion of societal pressures. So, in the name of equality, what if No-Shave November wasn’t just restricted to dudes who want to let themselves go for a month? What if no one decided to groom their dog,
didn’t mow the lawn, and skipped those expensive waxing appointments? Everything would be an absolute mess by the time the month is over.

So guys, consider picking your razors back up before the world gets as out of control as your beard.

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