Unfortunately, that is not what I unknowingly signed up for when I accepted UCSD. Instead, as a freshman, I’m either surrounded by virgins who can’t even fathom being out after 10 p.m., or people who magically become drunk and are stumbling around after their first beer.

Who do I have to bang in order to have some fun around here? Do I really have to drive over to San Diego State to have some sort of fun?

Despite what people may think, college is not about education. It’s about being social, doing stupid shit, taking drunken photos of your friend humping the Triton statue or what have you.

This experience is for you and your kids to look back at and be really, extremely embarrassed of by — like the night that you got totally shitfaced and woke up the next morning next some hideous stranger, probably with a penis drawn on his face.

That’s what I was expecting … not knocking on the door of my suite mate just to make sure she’s real … and alive. I shouldn’t have to be sitting in my half-empty suite while my crying suite mates are visiting home to cure their ridiculous homesickness only 20 minutes after their parents have left.

But here I am, contemplating having my own little party with the bottle of 151 stashed under my bed so I can drown out the noise of my remaining suite mates gushing about the upcoming “Glee” episode. Oh, the life of a freshman at UCSD.

— Brianna Jackson
Freshman, Marshall College