The pandemic has everyone and their mother reminding us to wash our hands for 20 seconds, meaning that “Happy Birthday” twice is reverberating in bathrooms across the country. If the people you’re quarantining with are sick and tired of hearing the ABCs, here are ten snippets of songs to add to your handwashing repertoire.
For all my musical theatre lovers, hand-washing is just another excuse to belt out a show stopping tune. Here’s “On My Own” from Les Mis — feel free to add more dramatic pauses to make sure your hands are extra clean.
“I love himBut when the night is overHe is goneThe river’s just a riverWithout himThe world around me changesThe trees are bare and everywhereThe streets are full of strangers”
Can’t get enough of Lil Nas X? Now’s the perfect time to bring back “Old Town Road”
“Yeah, I’m gonna take my horse to the old town roadI’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no moreI’m gonna take my horse to the old town roadI’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no more”
If you’ve been spending all your quarantine time on Tik Tok, Doja Cat’s “Say So” should be easy to recall — just be sure to sing it twice!
“Why don’t you say so?Didn’t even notice, no punches left to roll withYou got to keep me focused, you want it, say so”
Feeling simpy? Lean into it with Sam Smith’s “Stay With Me”
“Oh, won’t you stay with me?’Cause you’re all I needThis ain’t love, it’s clear to seeBut darling, stay with me”
Those with kids or younger siblings will definitely be familiar with “Baby Shark” — two verses will take you right under 20 seconds
“Baby SharkDoo doo, doo doo doo dooBaby SharkDoo doo, doo doo doo dooBaby SharkDoo doo, doo doo doo dooBaby Shark
Mommy SharkDoo doo, doo doo doo dooMommy SharkDoo doo, doo doo doo dooMommy SharkDoo doo, doo doo doo dooMommy Shark”
Throw it back to the 2000s with Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten”
“Feel the rain on your skinNo one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it inNo one else, no one elseCan speak the words on your lipsDrench yourself in words unspokenLive your life with arms wide openToday is where your book beginsThe rest is still unwritten”
The title of the TLC song may be “No Scrubs,” but your hands will be well scrubbed once you finish this chorus
“And no, I don’t want no scrubA scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from meHanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s rideTrying to holler at meI don’t want no scrubA scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from meHanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s rideTrying to holler at me”
Everyone loves a Disney Channel classic, and what’s better than the iconic “Send It On,” featuring Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and the Jonas Brothers?
“Send it on, on and onJust one hand can heal anotherBe a part, reach your heartJust one spark starts a fireWith one little actionThe chain reaction will never stopMake it strongShine a light, and send it on”
If you were more of a Nickelodeon kid, we’ve got one for you too. Try “Give It Up” from “Victorious”, because, in the famous words of Victoria Justice, “we can all sing.”
“Give it upYou can’t win’Cause I know where you’ve beenSuch a shame you don’t put up a fightThat’s a game that we play at the end of the nightIt’s the same old story but you never get it rightGive it up”
And finally, if you’re having trouble remembering song lyrics, Usher’s “Yeah!” is the song for you — just be sure to sing it twice!
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahYeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah”
Editor’s Note: The Disreguardian is satire published annually for The Guardian’s April Fool’s issue. Lifestyle will resume publishing regular content next week.
Art by Susan Sun