I WAS READY to prove myself. Looking up at him with a half-smile and a furrowed brow, I asked, ‘What would you like me to do?’ He paused for less than a second before stating, ‘Good attitude. I like that. Can you get me a large coffee? KATIE COROTTO ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM ‘Quid Pro Quo: The Press and Politicians’ October 13, 2008
PROPOSITION 8 is a frightening attack on civil rights, not to mention a stupid and unnecessary waste of funding and political resources during a time of extraordinarily immense economic uncertainty, a climate crisis and two hugely unpopular foreign wars. MATTHEW MCARDLE WORD UP ‘There’s Nothing Wrong With a Fairytale Wedding’ October 20, 2008
PARDON MY INSENSITIVITY in saying that there was, after all, something sweet to come of the looting, pillaging and raping of Central and Southern America at the gray dawn of the 16th century; that is to say, somewhere in the unpleasant collision of Spanish conquistadors, African slave ships and Native Americans, an impeccable constellation of the bombest DNA in the universe aligned ‘mdash; the most streamlined evolution since natural selection ‘mdash; and from within all that painful readjustment transpired the most impeccably formed backside yet known to man. The ripest damn ass-gourd that ever did grow. And ‘mdash; to the brand-new Afro-Latin beat ‘mdash; it shook. Like nothing before it, nothing since; until now, half a millennium later, when the shake-stuffs of Earth’s most bangin’ population can finally thrive as intended: in the crests and dips of motherfucking regg
aeton. SIMONE WILSON STRAIGHTER THAN NARROW ‘Lo Que Me Tiene Loca: Gettin’ Low on Latin Time’ October 30, 2008
CLIFFYB is a fucking rock star. Like any relevant rock frontman, his image frequently outshines his products, and gamers flock to him like any groupie would to a famous musician or tabloid celebrity. PHILIP RHIE CRITICAL HIT ‘Rockstar of Gamer Industry Plasters Face for Product’ November 13, 2008
SURE, there were other important measures on the ballot concerning things like animal cruelty and gay rights, but this was beach drinking we were talking about. An inalienable right the Founding Fathers just happened to leave out of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights in their hurry to get the thing passed. BRENT WESTCOTT STATE OF DISUNION ‘Beach Booze Ban Catapults Nov. 4 into the History Books’ November 13, 2008
CHOOSING YOUR IPHONE over strangers is only the beginning. A coffee date to catch up with an old friend is no longer a sentimental conversation, but rather a series of paused, incomplete sentences, interrupted by an important text or e-mail. GABRIELLA CAPISANI TIES THAT BIND ‘You Know What’s Lame? Oh, Hold on, I Have a Text’ January 29, 2009
MANY A BUFFET CASUALTY has fallen at the hands of the novelty bread trough, lured ruthlessly by the heaps of marbled sweetbread and pretzel buns. You paid $38.74 for this carnival of luxury so take advantage of it. Don’t just settle down with the first charming starch who makes eye contact. HADLEY MENDOZA STEALING THE SHOES ‘The Nuances of Successful Buffet Eating in Five Easy Steps’ February 17, 2009
‘SIN CITY’ AND ‘300’ ‘mdash; the collaborative efforts of Frank Miller and acolytes ‘mdash; were emblematic of comic-book cinema at its pits: digitally blown in proportion to their egotism and pieced together with picaresque hijinks. EDWIN GONZALEZ PANORAMIC SLEIGHTS ‘Comic-Book Hijinks Sink to Sinful Lows’ February 26, 2009
JUST THINK of Twitter as the new Facebook, but with less photos of drunken nights and a higher chance of actually accomplishing something with all the time you spend on it. SARAH DE CRESCENZO AS THE PAGE LOADS ‘Media Devotees Flock to Social Networking Aviary’ April 2, 2009
WITH A COMPLETE LACK of offensive pop ‘mdash; no we’re not yelling ‘Kouz’ at you anymore, we’re just booing ‘mdash; the lineup is in need of a complete overhaul. Not even ‘the little David Eckstein that could’ has enough heart and grit to save the Padres from an abysmal showing. JANANI SRIDHARAN PEANUTS ‘amp; CRACKERJACKS ‘Get Your Baseball Caps on: It’s Opening Day’ April 6, 2009
SPORTS HAVE POWER, sports have impact, and with all of those fans who were so jacked up with love of a sport and pride for their team at the WBC, the feeling was revitalizing and contagious ‘mdash; like body wash that gives you pink-eye, but in a good way. JOE TEVELOWITZ CUP O’ JOE ‘Classic, in Every Sense of the Word’ April 9, 2009
YOU DON’T NEED TO go through trash cans for plastic bottles, but everyone should do their part to recycle by being conscious of their waste. It would prevent bottles from being sent to landfills and it would save me from awkward stares as I reach into trashcans to fish out plastic water bottles. ALBERT LUONG DOWN TO EARTH ‘Think Outside the Bottle ‘mdash; Turn on the Tap’ April 23, 2009
AFTER SPENDING slightly less than C.C. Sabathia’s weight in the off-season, the Yanks continue to look weak due to a strange mix of egotistical all-stars and stunted up-and-comers. JOE TEVELOWITZ ‘amp; CAMERON TILLISCH CUP O’ JOE ‘amp; A TASTE O’ TELLISCH ‘Baseball in April: When Dreams Can Happen’ April 27, 2009
PRETTY SOON there will be a new superingredient to consume and we’ll forget all about boring old pomegranates and acai berries. I’m banking on ginger or horned melon, but you never know what our crazy capitalist society has up its sleeve. ALYSSA BEREZNAK BURNT SOUP ‘Take a Bite Out of Consumerism With Indie Fruit’ April 27, 2009
BUT THE REAL EVIDENCE has come in the playoffs, where legacies are made. Already, the Magic have eliminated the defending world champions the Boston Celtics, with Dwight Howard anchoring his team’s come-from-behind victory by dominating the inside. Now, in the Eastern Conference Finals against Cleveland, Howard is back. NEIL JOSHI A TOUCH OF CLASS ‘Watch Out Kobe and LeBron, You Have Company’ May 26, 2009