Once upon a time, not long after the six’shy; boys and girls of Forever the Sickest Kids converged in Dallas circa 2006, lead singer Jonathan Cook was browsing PureVolume, an advertising network for musicians, when he accidentally spent $350 the band didn’t have on a front-page promotion for a song that didn’t exist.
To patch the blunder, they forced out a brand-spanking new single in a matter of days. But instead of a hurried, half-assed track dooming all hopes of a future, ‘Hey Brittany’ sparked all sorts of Internet firecrackers. Angsty, love-struck lyrics (‘Why are you messing with me/ Is your boy on your mind/ Is your boy in the car/ Or are you alone?’) were delivered over squeaky-clean strings and bucketfuls of bounce ‘mdash; practically drenched in preteen pheromones.
Cyber-audiences clicked and dragged all over’ the infectious track, and Universal records responded with Forever’s inaugural Underdog Alma Mater, forged from Blink-182’s polish-punk blueprint and the Kids’ own hormonal breakdowns (see: ‘Breakdown’), crammed with just enough riffy climaxes and washed-over vocals to mirror every fresh-faced TRL guest conceived in the history of Viacom.
As always, in the aftermath of their initial explosion, the Kids’ intrigue began to wane. Perhaps their target audience finally realized they had seen it all before: whining self-pity, guitar/keyboard duos, sensitive hair toss ‘mdash; just another My Chemical Romance at the Disco. Unfortunately, there’s little chart space left for an anguished kid with no lunch money (let alone six of them). Only a chosen few have made it through the emo furnace, and only with necessary transfusions from purer blood ‘mdash; Romance paired with the Clash to spin critics right round in neo-goth glory. Mass appeal for pop-punk hooligans died gracefully with Blink-182, whose decade-old hits are still on radio repeat. Without a harder core, the Kids might get a good aw-shucks from a secret scenester or two, but they’re more likely to sink into total obscurity by the six-month mark.
Still, it won’t hurt to fill a block of week-one playtime with some digital-age heartbreak. You can bet the Kids’ Loft performance will trump Thursday night’s alternative entertainment ‘mdash; a stoned trek to Burger King ‘mdash; but do yourself a favor, skip the merch table.
Forever the Sickest Kids will perform live at the Loft on Thursday, April 2 withs Mercy Mercedes and Artist vs. Poet. Doors open at 7:30 p.m.