Come on, Will ‘mdash; enough with the morally upright hero roles already. Why don’t you play a crackhead, rapist, murderer or voracious, money-devouring CEO-type for once, at least giving us time to pick up the shattered pieces of our self-esteem? After ‘The Pursuit of Happyness,’ we got it, man ‘mdash; you’re carved of equal parts ethnic justice, chocolate-chip cookies and God, ranking you number-one harmless, role-model black celebrity (perhaps brought on by your ‘Fresh Prince’ days). But this is just ridiculous.
So, after ending the lives of seven different people (including your own wife) by texting at the wheel, anyone would seek repentance. But suffering the painful penance of butchering yourself into seven charitable pieces? It’s one of the most terrifying public service announcements ever: ‘Don’t text and drive ‘mdash; you might murder the person you love most and commit yourself to a two-year suicide.’ But come on, Will ‘mdash; you’re a natural-born badass. Get off that high horse and go back to shucking and jiving like you did in ‘Bad Boys,’ letting every inner-city kid feel like they could make a difference with a 9mm and a juvenile sense of humor. And hey, if you need a fix of those warm fuzzies that bad, throw some change at the homeless paparazzi outside your Miami mansion.