Wednesday, March 29, 2017

How to Cope With Academic Failure

Now, UCSD is a perfect academic haven, an intellectual ivory tower for UCLA and UC Berkeley rejects. We don’t take slackers, we’re superior. Pure, even… kind of like the bleach you spilled on your...

I Hate Mall Santas

Back in the day, when I was but a prehistoric amoeba, scuttling through the general soup of the Proterozoic era, I had a dream. More a nightmare than anything, really. I saw the image...

Admit It, Gasoline Smells Good

The crisp morning dew, the smoke from a fresh fixin’ of brisket, the cleansing scent of Tide: There are many sweet smells in this world, my friends, but the sweetest is that of Texas...

UC San Diego Rated Four Stars on Yelp

Like death and taxes, Yelp is a fact of life. It’s as ubiquitous as fanny packs once were and just as gaudy. Businesses are made to dance by the overwhelmingly red website’s user-based advice,...

Constitution of the Gutter

We the People of the Guardian newspaper, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Humor, ensure literary Poignancy, provide for the common laughter, promote general Amusement, and secure the Blessings of Journalism...

LATEST NEWS

Students Protest Updated Muslim Ban

Students and faculty collected outside Geisel Library to demonstrate against the executive order President Trump issued on March 6 revising restrictions that he placed...

Students Determined Addresses Candidate Filing Inconsistencies

The Students Determined slate released a statement this afternoon explaining two inconsistencies between the filing of their candidates on the official A.S. elections page...

The Professor Who Fought Border Patrol with Poetry

As a professor his passion for art is evident through his lectures, delivered with a loud booming voice which resonates throughout the lecture hall....