Columns

Alcohol Is No Reason to be MADD

As a result of Mothers Against Drunk Driving’s (MADD) unrelenting crusade against alcohol, a bill (Assembly Bill 183) that would ban the sale of alcohol at self-checkout lanes is now on Gov. Jerry Brown’s desk. Despite MADD’s noble intentions, there is scant evidence to support their cause. ...

Don’t Blame it on the Alcohol the Next Morning

Not everyone can wake up feeling like P. Diddy the morning after a Sun God binge. For everyone else — you know, those of us who wake up with a pounding headache, overwhelming nausea and cotton mouth — How-to Guru can provide some much-needed tips on hangover prevention and cures. ...

Gaga Outfits Can’t Save This Show

Talking about the insignificance of the Grammy Awards is kind of like making fun of Nicolas Cage; its awfulness is so universally acknowledged that there’s really no point to it at all. Nonetheless, it’s still strange that a once-respected music industry institution has fallen so far. A Grammy used to be the greatest honor in music; now it’s standard “Cribs” décor. ...

The ’90s Are Gone, But I’m Still Jamming

There’s a scene in the 1999 tree-kissing SNL movie “Superstar” in which socially awkward Catholic school girl Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) is approached at lunch by popular guy Sky Corrigan (Will Ferrell, the quintessential hot teenager, of course). Sky tells Mary that he saw her doing the robot outside. “You have some nice moves!” he says. It’s then repeated in slow motion: “Niiiiiiice mooooooooooves . . . oooooooves.” ...

I Could Never Whip My Hair

Like most girls, when I was 10 years old I wanted to be a star. After dragging my parents to *NSYNC and Christina Aguilera concerts, and wearing out my copies of Spice World and the “Footloose” soundtrack (don’t ask), I decided it was my turn to own the spotlight. ...

Please, Leave Yeezy Alone!

Damn you, Taylor Swift. Damn you for making effortlessly catchy pop that somehow appeals to my female sensibilities.  Damn you for being so pretty. And most importantly, damn you for making Kanye West look like such a jerk. ...