Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Gaga Outfits Can’t Save This Show

Talking about the insignificance of the Grammy Awards is kind of like making fun of Nicolas Cage; its awfulness is so universally acknowledged that there’s really no point to it at all. Nonetheless, it’s still strange that a once-respected music industry institution has fallen so far. A Grammy used to be the greatest honor in music; now it’s standard "Cribs" décor.

The ’90s Are Gone, But I’m Still Jamming

There’s a scene in the 1999 tree-kissing SNL movie “Superstar” in which socially awkward Catholic school girl Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) is approached at lunch by popular guy Sky Corrigan (Will Ferrell, the quintessential hot teenager, of course). Sky tells Mary that he saw her doing the robot outside. “You have some nice moves!” he says. It’s then repeated in slow motion: “Niiiiiiice mooooooooooves . . . oooooooves.”

The Fab Four’s Got ‘Craaazy’ Hits On iTunes

At this point, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to admit that I don’t pay for my music. I can’t remember the last time I bought a CD, and the lowly vinyl collection I began my sophomore year of high school is mostly comprised of my parents’ old records. It now sits in my room, collecting dust.

I Could Never Whip My Hair

Like most girls, when I was 10 years old I wanted to be a star. After dragging my parents to *NSYNC and Christina Aguilera concerts, and wearing out my copies of Spice World and the “Footloose” soundtrack (don’t ask), I decided it was my turn to own the spotlight.

Please, Leave Yeezy Alone!

Damn you, Taylor Swift.

Damn you for making effortlessly catchy pop that somehow appeals to my female sensibilities.  Damn you for being so pretty. And most importantly, damn you for making Kanye West look like such a jerk.

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