Thursday, June 29, 2017

How-To Guru: Win Back Funding

It’s been one of those long, weird weeks where the student government suddenly decides to drop all its financial support for print media on campus. To be clear, the all-knowing How-To Guru does not...

How-To Guru: Act Your Age, Millenials

It’s time to clearly distinguish the ways of Millennials from the ways of the Baby Boomers. This guide should be particularly useful for old-fashioned misfits who can’t seem to get with the times. Here...

How-To Guru: Master Sleep Deprivation

I’ll sleep when I die. This wise proverb, once said by an anonymous but deeply admired college student, has become an almost legendary folklore among the UCSD student population. With all of our profound...

How-To Guru: Surviving El Nino

This is it folks. This year’s Monster El Niño has finally hit! The incessant ringing of flash flood and tornado warnings on everyone’s phones are causing panic and chaos all over Southern California. Branches...

How-To Guru: Live Off the Grid

UCSD students are wild creatures: nocturnal, emotionless and generally wearing trademark dark circles and eye bags so stubborn you could brew tea with them. Many even theorize that we think in ones and zeros....

How-To Guru: Cyber Monday

Let’s face it: We barely have the motivation to get up and go to our 8 a.m. and 11 a.m. classes. Waking up at 4 a.m. to wait in line for Black Friday is...

How-To Guru: Win the Powerball

Now that the rain has dried up and the sun has come back out from under its blanket of clouds, it’s time to emerge and refresh our brains with rational, intelligent thinking. Therefore, this...

How-To Guru: Read Me Online

In a final blaze of glory, the UCSD Guardian’s website is up and running again. This brings an end to the cries of sadness and confusion that became widespread among campus-wide protests after The...

How-To Guru: Keep New Year’s Resolutions

This dreadful Monday marks the end of the holiday season and vacay time. All good things must come to an end, except for our New Year resolutions. Regardless of what your resolutions are, this...

How-To Guru: Gone With the Wind

Right as UCSD students were starting to feel acclimated to winter weather, the forecast throws us a sudden curveball. Everybody was happily tucked up in bed. We were feeling extra cozy while seeking shelter...